it's not that i do not know what to type, i've got plenty to say, plenty to shout out, but somehow, i can't bear to fill this page. consequences? i can only imagine.
maybe it isn't that bad, maybe nothing will happen at all. but i can't be so selfish, i want to cover it as much and as long as i can. this is the least i can do.
but is hiding it being mean as well? i do not know. it's evidently a dilemma, i guess i prefer escaping. not doing anything, if things sould happen, it happens and not because i caused it to...oh no, that sounds like i'm shirking responsibility, i'm being selfish!
now what? and so i'm happy, i'm rather, i think, contented. but why do i still feel this prick? this bad feeling deep down? am i supposed to feel this way? should i? afterall, i can't control the event of things. it's nobody's fault! it's...fate! cause and effect, things happen for a reason...and i can't be blamed for how things turn out!
but, i am partially to be blamed. for the things i've said, for the things i've done. for my own selfishness, i am now being punished. i do believe in karma, maybe that's why i'm feeling bad now.
i willingly suffer. for what i've done.
posted by pearlewurly @ 11/19/2005 01:44:00 pm
